YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
