I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
