so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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