My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
