We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
