We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
