yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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