You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
