I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
