google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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