Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
