He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
