if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His hands were made for my vagina.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
