Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
