I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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