I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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