Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
