Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
