when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize