And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
