thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He felt like a one man threesome
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
