i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
