Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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