"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
