to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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