I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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