i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
