It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
