So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
