The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
