he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
