Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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