I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
