Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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