Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i barfeds in our rink
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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