I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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