This is not my ceiling
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize
