And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
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I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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