You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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