Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
