last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
