I wish I could teleport
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
ttyl tear gas
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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