Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
