I think im going to throw up on grandma
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
