who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
