i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
