He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
