Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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