Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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