I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize