haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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