It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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