I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
