i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
