Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
