C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
