Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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