I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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