thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
time to smoke my breakfast
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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