The maid of honor just puked.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
