Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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