ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
