if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize