You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
