Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
