carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
