Who did Billy Mays play for?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
